Dating a drunk
The rules of dating had shifted completely since I was a young lass and, without the social lubricant of martinis or wine, my old-school M. of getting wasted and ending up in bed with a cute guy from the party clearly wasn’t an option. Insensitive, I have gone on hundreds of dates—a handful with guys from the rooms but mostly online finds, generally social drinkers. So I decided to look into what’s worked for other sober folks, and to see what experts had to say about the matter of dating in recovery.cautions that relationships are “the number one relapse trigger” so it’s first important to take the time to “heal yourself first.” Faulkner’s healthy-dating-in-sobriety checklist is key: “You should have a solid base of recovery—two years; no relapses; you should have worked the steps; you should be meeting often with your sponsor to discuss dating; and you should regularly be attending your home-group meetings.” She adds, “Both people should attend Al-Anon meetings, too.It's just like someone refusing to partake in one of my favorite hobbies!" exclaims Rachel, 21."I married a sober person and it's perfect since forever.
If you’re going out to dinner, it’s okay to wait till you arrive, and when the wine list arrives just say, ‘Nah, I don’t do that anymore.’ Do it casually; whether to go into greater detail or not really depends upon the relationship.”Amy, a 32-year-old stylist who lives in Manhattan and has been sober for 10 years, tells of romancing a particular “normie,” who turned out to be anything but.When I first decided to get sober, I told my fiancé, “I think I am going to go to AA and quit the booze for good.” His reply: “Awww, I’m gonna lose my drinking buddy? ”As you may expect, that relationship imploded shortly thereafter.